


Conscindo

by Forhjs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Doctors, F/M, Fluff, Haechan also, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, I will include all units, Jaemin falling in love again and jeno falling in love even more, Jisung feels guilty, Lots of cuddles, M/M, Memory Loss, jaemin saves jisung, jeno is frustrated, mark and taeyong are the best leaders, no smut in this cristian household, nomin made me do this, renjun is the best friend everyone needs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-09 11:04:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17405759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forhjs/pseuds/Forhjs
Summary: A speeding car, flashing lights and Jisung standing on the wrong side of the road, resulted Jaemin into laying into the hospital with memory loss.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also cross posted on wattpad, @peachyhyojong  
> Hope you will enjoy reading! :)

"Nana!" A green haired boy ran into the hospital room. The doctors had finally called that Jaemin had woke up after being in a coma for 10 days. They had to wait a day before they could visit him, apparently Jaemin was too weak to get visitors immediately. 

Chenle scooped the boy in his arms, hugging him close to his chest. "I'm so happy you finally woke up, it's so boring without you." 

"Chenle, let the boy breath. He just woke up from a coma." A voice said. Chenle let jaemin sheepishly rest against his pillows again. 

Mark walked in the room, followed by Taeyong, Ten. They all quickly gathered around jaemin's bed.

"How are you feeling, Jaemin?" Taeyong asked worried by the others unreadable face. His face was still decorated with cuts, a bandage wrapped around his head. Taeyong felt sad to see his younger member hurting like this. Why did that damned car speed so recklessly, Jaemin could have died.

Jaemin didn't answer, he just stared at them all, one by one. A silence fell, nobody knowing what to say.

"I see you have visitors already." A doctor came in, smiling. "Who are you all?"

"I'm lee Taeyong. We are in a kpop band, Nct. I'm the leader." Taeyong bowed, stumbling over his words.

"I'm Mark, also Nct member."

"Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, but call me Ten, please." 

"I'm Chenle." 

"Ah, I see. Your all band members?" The doctor scribbled something down on his notepad. 

"Yes, doctor." Confirmed Taeyong.

"Well, if you all could come with me for me a moment." They shared worried glances with each other before walking out of the room, following the doctor to the hallway.

"Did Jaemin say any of your names of gave a sign of recognizing you?" The doctor asked. 

"He didn't say anything and I don't know if he recognized us." Taeyong answered quietly. Unsure where the doctor was getting at.

"When Jaemin woke up yesterday he didn't remember who he was, his age or in which country he is." The doctor told. "He's still too weak to go under mri at the moment but he's showing symptoms of PTA."

"What's PTA?" Chenle asked, voice slightly trembling. What did the doctor mean? His head felt full. So much was already happening already. Suddenly chenle felt like curling up, hiding himself from the world. He was so happy just seconds ago, why was this happening again? Chenle had been feeling down since Jaemin's accident, he just needed his hyung to be okay.

"PTA is short for Post-traumatic amnesia. It's a state of confusion that occurs immediately following a traumatic brain injury in which the injured patient is disoriented and unable to remember events that occur after the injury. The person may be unable to state their name, where they are, and what time it is. The symptoms are alike with the symptoms of Jaemin." The doctor explained.

"So he doesn't remember anything?" Mark asked, he stared with big eyes at the man in front of him. He felt Chenle clinging at his arm as the words ran trough his head. 

"We don't know yet, Jaemin has been refusing to speak since he woke up again this morning." The doctor confessed. "You can go back him now, his next check up is in two hours. Take it easy on him."

"We will, thank you, doctor." Taeyong bowed, grabbed chenle's hand, who looked like he was going to cry, and led them all back to the room.

"Hey, we're back." Taeyong smiled at Jaemin as he sat down in a chair next to the younger's bed. Jaemin just stared at him, keeping his silence.

A uncomfortable silence hanged in the room as everyone stared at the small boy laying in a sit slash laying down position in the hospital bed. Jaemin had adverted his eyes to his lap, shy from the unknown eyes on him. 

"Jeno, a friend, wanted to come with us to see you. But yesterday he played with this cat that was sitting in front of the dorms, he's allergic so now he is coughing constantly and couldn't come. That stupid boy." Mark suddenly told, breaking the silence. 

"I like cats." Jaemin whispered. Everyone at the room looked up surprised at Jaemin's words. So he does remember something.

"Yeah, you do." Ten smiled widely, caressing Jaemin's arm in comfort.

"Who are you?" Jaemin asked. The boys looked at each other in slight confusion, wondering who he was directing the question to as his eyes where still focused on his lap.

"I'm Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, but everyone calls me Ten." Ten spoke up.

"Can I call you seven?" 

"Only you then." Ten answered, chuckling. Jaemin smiled slightly again. His eyes darted around, finding Ten's- Seven's hand resting on his arm. Quietly he grabbed his hand with his own, intertwining their fingers. 

Ten's smile broke out bigger then ever by the younger's soft gesture. Although Jaemin might not remember him, he still felt comfortable with him. 

While the other boys also introduced themselves was Jaemins attention focused on Seven's hand. Jaemin liked Seven, he had soft hands. He moved the others fingers around, letting out a soft giggle. This was funny. Playing with Seven's fingers, he didn't notice the stares on him.


	2. two

Jeno was standing just outside Jaemin's hospital room, Taeyong and Doyoung standing next to him. 

One side of him wanted to run into the room, to his best friend. But the other side of him wanted to run to the opposite direction, afraid of the reality. 

He remembered Taeyong repeating the words that the doctor told him yesterday trough the phone. Jaemin apparently didn't remember anything, lost his memory, he didn't even know his own name.

Jeno didn't want his vision to become reality, that he was going to walk into the room and Jaemin wouldn't recognize him. The reality was that Jaemin wasn't going to say his name and show his bright smile, and Jeno didn't want to believe it.

"Come, Jeno." Taeyong whispered. Yesterday had felt harsh on him. Jaemin, the normally oh so flirty and smiling strong boy, now laying in a hospital bed looking so small and vulnerable. 

When Jaemin was still in coma, he had seem so peaceful but now he looked so tense, scared. It hurt Taeyong to see Jaemin struggle like this. He wished he could've prevented this somehow, that he could've stopped the car or that himself had shoved Jisung away instead.

"I don't want to." Jeno whispered.

"How more you will be around him, how sooner he will recognize you, remember you." Doyoung told him, rubbing his back. 

Jeno nodded but still all he wanted to do was run out of this hell hole again.

Taeyong stepped inside first. "Hey Jaemin. It's morning, 11 am. I'm Taeyong, a friend." Taeyong followed the instructions the doctor told him yesterday. Apparently this would prevent jaemin from freaking out or getting really confused.

"Hey! I'm doyoung, this is jeno." Doyoung shoved the younger boy forward. Jeno looked nervously up from the ground.

Jaemin looked stiff, avoiding all of their stares by looking at his lap.

"How are you feeling, Jaemin?" Doyoung asked, as they all sat down around the bed.

"Soft." Jaemin whispered. He reached his right hand out to where he thought the talking voice came from.

"He wants to hold someone's hand." Taeyong helped, analyzing Jaemin's behavior. Yesterday he had been playing with Ten's hand for an whole hour, not responding to anyone. When they got send away because the doctor came, Jaemin wouldn't let Ten's hand go. In the end Ten got allowed to stay, the doctor said he somehow managed to make Jaemin calm down. When Ten finally got home he immediately fell into Taeyong's arms, crying, overwhelmed by the whole situation.

Jeno slowly reached out as he sat the closest to Jaemin's hand. When their skins touched Jaemin slowly began to trace the hand with his fingers. 

"Soft?" He quietly said. Jaemin didn't understand. This was different soft from yesterday. He wanted soft-soft. He wanted something familiar.

The boy already felt so alone, so weak, so scared. 

Where was he? Why where there constantly people he didn't recognize here? Why couldn't he remember his own name? Where was soft?

He shoved the hand away, turning away. Tears rolled down his precious cheeks, why couldn't this just stop?

Jaemin heard voices around him, sounds, noises. He couldn't take it in, he wanted it to stop. Jaemin wanted it all to stop. 

"Soft, soft, soft."

•••

Frustrated walked Jeno the dorm in, slamming the door close after him. Chenle, Jisung and Mark who where sitting in the living room looked up confused. 

"Jeno, what's up?" Mark asked, seeing Jeno's tense figure. 

"Fucking Na Jaemin, that's up." Jeno said. He knew he was only making himself more and more angry in his head but he couldn't help it. He kept seeing the scene in front of him, replaying. How Jaemin turned away from him, his shaking figure and repeated "Soft"s leaving his mouth. 

"What happened?" Chenle asked, worried about his hyung. 

"He." Jeno paused, shaking his head. "He had a fucking panic attack, okay, he had a motherfucking panic attack! He suddenly just broke down, he pushed me away, he pushed Taeyong away! He doesn't remember me, he doesn't want me. I can't even help him!"

Mark stand up, slowly putting his arm around Jeno, pulling him into a hug. That's when Jeno really broke down. Crying and screaming in the arms of his hyung, he let all the inbuilt frustration go.

"Why, hyung? Why Jaemin?" Mark shook his head, letting his own tears roll down his cheeks as he hugged Jeno even closer.

"I don't know, Jeno. I wish I did but I don't know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter! I’m kinda busy with my midterms :(


	3. Three

Jaemin watched as a doctor walked in the room with a plate of food. 

"Hey, Jaemin. I'm doctor Kim, how are you doing?" 

"Why am I here?" Jaemin asked, staring confusion up to the tall doctor.

"You had an accident where you lost your memory, Jaemin. Don't worry about it, I have food for you." Doctor Kim smiled reassuringly but Jaemin felt even more confused.

"I didn't, I'm fine. I didn't have an accident!" Jaemin shouted. The white room felt like a prison, he was unable to even stand up, his body being too weak. He just wanted to leave.

"You like rice? Or do you just want some yogurt?" Doctor Kim said, setting down the plate on the nightstand, ignoring Jaemin's words.

"Please, please. Why am I here? Who am I?" Jaemin begged, tears gathering up in his eyes. 

"You are Na Jaemin. Don't stress yourself, young boy, it will be alright." Doctor Kim ruffled the others brown hair softly before leaving the room, letting jaemin alone with his thoughts.

After Jaemin ate like 1/5 of his yoghurt, deciding he was full already, he eyed the iPhone that was laying on the nightstand. A doctor had let it there yesterday but he hasn't picked it up since then. Deciding he had nothing else to do, he picked up the black device.

How did this work?

Jaemin pushed various buttons before the lock symbol disappeared and he was in the homepage. There where many red circles with numbers in it by those weird drawings. He clicked on the spooky drawing, immediately he saw his reflection staring back at him. 

He looked ugly. Scratches all over his face and a bandage wrapped around his head. His eyes stared judging back at him. 

Quickly he clicked on the round button underneath the screen, bringing him back to the home screen. 

There was a drawing thingy of a phone, he recognized it. Scrolling trough names he clicked on a random one and called it. 

"big bro (Mark hyung)"

•••

"Nana Nct dream" is calling you. 

Mark stared in shock at his phone. A dozen of possibilities running trough his head. Did something happen to Jaemin? Was it a doctor that was using Jaemin's phone?

He swiped the icon and answered the call. "Yeah?"

"Hello." Jaemin's voice greeted him softly. Letting out a silent scream, Mark almost dropped to the phone.

"Did something happen? Are you ok-"

"I'm fine." Jaemin's voice cut him off. "But I'm bored." 

Mark chuckled softly, he could almost hear Jaemin's pout trough the device. How many times hadn't jaemin called him saying exactly the same? Jaemin was still the same sweet jaemin, which made mark relieved.

"What about we play a game?" Mark asked.

"Yes! Let's do that!" Jaemin's voice sounded immediately 10 times happier.

"Which game you want to play?" A silence followed and Mark almost began to think Jaemin hanged up.

"I don't remember any games." Mark felt his heart break, he hadn't though of that.

"Don't worry I'll think of one." Mark quickly said. What games can you play over the phone? "I see what you don't see. You describe something you see and I have to guess what it is." 

"Okay. Um, it's white and big."

 

 

 

They played till Jaemin's voice got quieter and soft, steady exhaling was heard. 

"Have good dreams, nana."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being so inactive, I’ve just been feeling really depressed and stuff,,, yeah. Also sorry for the short chapter I’ll try to write a longer one next time! 
> 
> & you can think of Doctor Kim as anyone, I originally wrote him as Heechul (super junior) but there are so many idols with as surname Kim you can imagine him as.


End file.
